Wednesday's Wisdom: Forgiveness

Often on Wednesday nights, I speak at our church's worship service, The Alternative. It's a way-cool multimedia worship service featuring short message videos, worship videos and short personal messages from 3-5 different speakers. I really love being a part of the service and sharing with others what God has done in my life.

The best way for me to prepare is to write out what I'm going to say as if I were writing a story or an article. It dawned on me last night that I could also blog that! Voila! Funk over!

March 10: Forgiveness

Several weeks ago, Adam and Scott had an argument. I don't remember the details, but basically Adam had done something Scott didn't like. So after many tears, Adam went to Scott and apologized. A few minutes later, I found Adam sitting at the kitchen counter crying. I asked him what was wrong.

"Daddy didn't say I forgive you," he said. Adam's kindergarten teacher always reminds the children to say "I forgive you" when a freind has apologized. So Adam thought his daddy didn't forgive him because Scott didn't say it aloud. But they worked it out.

Forgiveness is a touchy subject and a hard thing to comprehend. Even as Christians who recognize the importance of being forgiven by God and the importance of forgiving others, we often miss the mark.

I've learned that forgiveness doesn't mean I have to endure being mistreated. The Bible says "turn the other cheek" and to me that doesn't mean to let the assailant slap you around some more. To me, it means to look the other direction, not to dwell on the hurt, to move on.

I've also learned that forgiveness doesn't mean ignoring the situation, moving half-way across the country or hoping I'll never see the person again. But, sometimes it does help to remove yourself from the situation so you can heal and eventually forgive.

And I've also realized that the act of forgiveness is more like a crock pot and less like a microwave. Just saying "I forgive you" does not make everything go away. Praying for God's help for forgiveness also can take time. Though both actions are vital to forgiving others, neither one give instantaneous results.

For me, forgiveness is a constant process of conscionsentious actions. Every day I have to say "I forgive you" and every day I have to pray for God's help to forgive. And in time, the anger and hurt give way to forgiveness and then hopefully love and reconciliation.

I'm still working on forgiving people. It's something we can never give up because God doesn't give up on us.