Christmas Cards

My pre-Christmas funk has come to an end, thank God, and I'm embracing the holiday spirit as I usually do.

I am, however, quite disappointed that it's December 8th and we've only received two Christmas cards. Since moving here, every year our Christmas card count has declined. I don't know if folks in CA think it costs more to send a card to the prairie or if it's merely a case of out of sight out of mind. But in any event I'm disappointed. Now I realize that not every person is as obsessive about having their cards out on December 1st or close to it, but c'mon folks it's not like Christmas is a surprise. It comes every year. We have 11 months to prepare. One of the cards I received is, I'll say it, pretty darn lame. Obviously the sender took advantage of the mail list option places like Vistaprint offer as everything on it is pre-printed including both our address and the return address. This to me is a terrible cop-out. Unless you're George W. Bush, there is no excuse for this kind of Christmas card.

Oh! Speaking of President Bush, I received a letter from him today. Yes a bonafide letter from the President. I'd emailed him last month to thank him for doing his best and leading our country these last years. Like the man or not, you have to admit he's had a difficult presidency. Anyhow, I received a letter from him today thanking me for my kind words. I was very excited and even cried.

Well, enough of my blathering for one day. I'm off to watch CSI Miami with my sweet husband whom I adore more than ever. Keep him in your prayers. He's dealing with new job blues.

My Plumeria Tree

I am not a gardener. I do not have a green thumb. Truth be told, I’ve even killed a cactus. I’m not sure the fake poinsettias on my porch will survive my care. But there is one plant in my care that has thrived in the seven years I’ve owned it.

I bought my beloved plumeria tree six months after I married my husband at the annual Aloha Festival in San Francisco. And plumeria has long been my most favorite flower because it smells like my favorite place, Hawai'i. So that day, I bought a plumeria plant. It was small, maybe only fourteen inches tall, in a very small pot. I paid five dollars for it. Or maybe it was eight. In either case, it was a good deal. Who could have paradise in their own home for less? I also bought a plumeria for my parents who are by definition gardeners. My mom and dad can make anything grow. I envy their garden, their houseplants, their enthusiasm at pulling weeds and watering. Yet it is my plumeria that continues to blossom. Theirs, well, let’s just say it wasn’t meant to be.

One plumeria flourished, the other died. I don’t really know why my plumeria has flourished. I’ve already told you I don’t know the first thing about gardening. I like the idea of growing things. But I don’t do it very well. But I have a gorgeous plumeria tree that is now five feet tall and growing. Even my parents have remarked at my gorgeous tree and the off chance it would survive much less flourish in my care. But it has. And they’ve asked me many times what I do to it to make it grow so well. Besides watering and an unadulterated desire for it to grow, there is only one thing that I did that they didn’t.

Every summer I transplant my plumeria into a bigger pot. I don’t know where I got the idea that it needed more room in order to grow, but so far it has worked. And so when I started thinking about the idea that God transplants us in order to continue His good work in us, I thought of my sweet plumeria tree.

You see, I love that tree as much as any possession I have, maybe even more. If I had to leave everything behind and take only one thing, it would likely be my plumeria tree. To me, that tree is proof that I can grow something. Proof that there’s a future. Proof that God loves me.

I know that God loves me a whole lot more than I love some silly tree. I know that He wants me to grow and bloom the same way I want my plumeria to blossom. And if He sees the need to transplant me, whether it be a move halfway across the country or into a different ministry, then I know it’s because I need a new pot so I can continue growing. It’s kind of like the silly little epithet, “Bloom where you’re planted.”

Thanksgiving Indeed

I've long been a fan of Thanksgiving. Of course I'm a lover of all holidays, but Thanksgiving holds special memories for me. Growing up, we often spent turkey day in Hawai'i with loads of extended family. Baba (my grandmother for those who don't know) would bring a suitcase full of food including the turkey itself. On Thanksgiving morn, we'd go to the beach and in the afternoon, we'd go to Baba's condo and have Thanksgiving dinner. Later, after our mandatory naps, we'd spend the evening in the pool and hot tub. Once I got into high school, though, it became more difficult to escape to Hawai'i. Completely distraught, I convinced my mom and Baba to have a Thanksgiving Luau. For the next ten years, we had themed Thanksgivings: Hoe-down, Mickey Mouse Club, Victorian, Wine country, Mardi Gras etc. It was fun. Scott even proposed on Thanksgiving 2000. Since moving to the prairie, our Thanksgiving celebration is much smaller. Gone are the hoards of people (more than once we had 42 people) and the eight or nine desserts I used to make. Yet I feel more grateful than ever.

This year, like every year, we have much for which to be grateful. Scott starts a new job on Monday. Praise God. Both of my kids are healthy. Praise God. The weather is gorgeous. Praise God. I am content and happy in life. Praise God. When Scott and I married, I bought a plaque to hang on our door. It simply said, "Plenty." And that my dear friends sums it up. We have plenty for which to be grateful. Happy Thanksgiving.

Thanksgivings Past:

Trust & Understanding

In elementary school, we memorized Proverbs 3:5-6:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths
straight.

It's a simple verse that's easy to recall. In fact it's so simple that I often take it for granted. Its meaning is even simplistic. It kind of makes me think of how Adam says, "I know, I know" when I tell him to do something. He's hearing but he's not really listening. And that's kind of how I've always looked at this verse. But this week-end one phrase jumped out at me and made sense in a new way:

Lean not on your own understanding

Understanding. That's an overused word in a mother's vocabulary. "Do you understand?" I'll ask Adam. Or I'll try to be understanding when a toy breaks. But there is so much more to the meaning of the word than that.

How many times have I said, "I don't understand, God" or "I don't understand why He's letting this happen to us"? A million easily. Not un derstanding is a huge frustration for me. But here in this verse we're very clearly commanded to not lean on understanding. To not rely on our understanding of a situation. Basically we're told to just trust and not try and figure it out. That's tough for me. I'm self-reliant and trust does not come easy. That along with my insatiable desire to always have a plan causes me to lean on my own understanding quite often.

I don't understand why Scott and I suffer certain trials and tribulations. It doesn't make sense to me. But it's not supposed to because I'm supposed to trust.

When I'm pursuing my own understanding of a situation instead of just trusting, I bounce around from theory to theory. If I were to drop a trail of crumbs behind me as I stumbled down the path to understanding I know it would be curvy, full of zig-zags with lots of bumps in the road. But look at the next verse:

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight

Well duh. If' I'd just recognize that He's in control of it all and that He is mightier than anything I can do, I wouldn't have to stumble and bumble my way into understanding. My path of trust would be straight.

Then I started thinking about "one nation under God" and how our nation, whether we like it or not, is subject to God's rule. No matter how hard some try oust God from our money or our pledge, He is still in control. I'm taking great comfort in this this week as I'm pretty disappointed with the results of the election. I don't understand how we got here. I don't understand how Americans could believe our president-elect. I don't understand, I don't understand.

But then I'm not supposed to understand but to trust and know He's in control.

Don't Look Back

Recently, I was thinking back to decisions I've made. Good ones. Bad ones. All of them got me to where I am today. And suddenly I was reminded that looking back holds you up. I thought of the story of Lot's wife in Genesis 19. Two verses spoke directly to what I was thinking about:

v.17, 26 Don't look back and don't stop anywhere on the plain! Flee to the
mountains or you will be swept away. But Lot's wife looked back and she became a
pillar of salt.

You can't move forward when you're looking back. Can you imagine driving forward down the street in a straight line while looking out the back window? It just wouldn't happen. You'd end up in the ditch for certain. Even if you were just looking in your side mirror instead of looking ahead you would end up in trouble. "Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear." You could get sucked into regret, despair, or even pride.

I've been thinking about how we decided to move to Bismarck instead of Dickinson. Thinking about the time I lost with Adam when I could have been playing with him instead of cleaning. I've reflected on screwed-up relationships with estranged relatives. And of course, last week's election has been on my mind as well as Bush's presidency. The question that kept coming to my mind: "how did we get here?"

There's a difference between learning from history and living for it. We have to learn from our good decisions and learn from the bad ones. We can't continue to pat ourselves on the back for doing a good job or beat ourselves up for screwing up. Because if you're living for the past, you're looking back and that means you're stuck.

But, more there's more to it than that. Lot's wife looked back onto Sodom & Gomorrah, longingly we presume, and she turned to salt. A pillar of salt. A pillar is immovable. Salt scatters. So looking back leaves us stuck but it also scatters us. Our goals, our future, our hope, everything ends up scattered. I dont know about you, but I hate when I feel scattered or out of focus. It renders me useless. This makes me think of two other verses:

Jeremiah 13:24
I will scatter you like chaff driven by the desert wind.

James 1:6
But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

A few months ago, my sister stopped by and as we stood in my driveway, a big wind came up and blew the paperwork on the seat of her car right out into the yard. They scattered. They were blown and tossed. What a mess and a total hassle to retrieve them all.She was exhausted after she collected all the papers. And it was stressful. I don't know about you but I don't need any additional stress or exhaustion in my life.

So looking back is useless. Yes it's good to learn from history. Good to reminisce. But anything more than that turns us into an immovable statue of dust. No thanks.

Halloween, Election and other Ramblings

Our first halloween as a complete family was a total dream come true. Adam dressed as Capt Jack Sparrow and Gracie was Sleeping Beauty. Yes, this Disney-crazed mommy had a pirate and a princess. It was perfect. Well, as perfect as a ridiculous holiday like halloween can be. Neither Scott nor I are big on the holiday mostly because of its pagan beginnings but also because it's turned into a commericalized nightmare of death. Okay that's a little harsh but you get the point. Growing up, halloween wasn't a big deal at my house. My sister and I dressed up for our school's Harvest Day Parade but our costumes had to be historical, literary, animal or Biblical. I remember dressing as Delilah one year complete with giant scissors made from foil and cardboard. Another year my friends and I were Job's daughters. The entire 3rd grade class always went as an Indian tribe while the entire 4th grade class was cowboys/girls. I was Queen Elizabeth in 5th grade and in 6th grade my friends and I dressed as a wedding party based on the book "My Sister's Wedding." I only remember dressing up for five halloweens since then: a pirate, little red riding hood, Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother and when I was teaching I dressed as a Hawaiian tourist. Scott, on the other hand, says he was halloween crazed. Evidently he and his friends would do huge haunted houses and even had a funeral procession one time. So weird.

Anyway, that was last week. This week there was the election. Bah humbug. All I can say is now it's my turn to complain about the president over the next four years. No seriously, God is in control and there is nothing that Obama can do to me or this country that can snatch His grace and goodness from me. I'd really like to vent about his win, but I'll just take a deep breath and pray instead.

Huh. When I sat down to write, I had a lot to say. Then I got up to get the power cord for my failing laptop battery and forgot what it was I wanted to tell you. So I'll just call it a night.

A Rose is Still a Rose Cont'd

Picking up where I left off with my study of 2 Cor 4:10-18...

v.10-12 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that
the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive
are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may
be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life
is at work in you.

To me this says, "look you can't have life without death." Think about folks who have nearly died, they appreciate life more. Like in the wake of 9/11 when Americans valued more than just material goods. Or it's like spring's awakening after the death of winter. We can't appreciate the new life spring brings unless we've seen the death of winter. For me, being a native Californian, I didn't know what spring was. Very few trees/plants go dormant during a California winter. The grass doesn't turn brown. So until I moved here, I had no appreciation for spring because I'd never seen the death of winter.

v. 15- 16 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

I often ask myself and God, "Why?" Why do I struggle? Why is everything so hard right now?Why am I walking along this rocky road? What is the point. And then something or someone reminds me it's so that I can see, feel, hear and taste His grace. So my faith can grow. So God can receive glory. Things that come easy to us aren't appreciated the same way we appreciate things for which we've worked or even struggled. It's like the statement, "We go through what we go through so we can help others get through what we went through." And then the instruction, "Don't give up!" Don't get discouraged. Don't be afraid. Makes me think of the children's book, "The Little Engine that Could." "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can." And that gets us to the outward appearance versus the inward state. Some days I know my outward appearance accurately depicts what I'm feeling inside be it happiness or despair. Other days, I do my best to make my outward appearance look like all is well while in the inside I'm struggling. Kind of like that old song, "Tears of a Clown." But here it says we are wasting away outwardly and inwardly being renewed. That's a direct reflection of how this world will pass away but our spirits will live on. How everything we buy will meet its demise but time spent with loved ones, time spent with God will last forever.

v.17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory
that far outweighs them all.

I dont' know about you but my troubles don't often feel light nor momentary. Hence the name troubles. They never seem manageable while we're trudging through them. Looking back on the suffering though, and we see how brief it really was. In the grand scheme of things even a year of trouble is short. The "trouble" is necessary for the "glory." No guts, no glory. No pain, no gain. No pregnancy/adoption process, no baby. But the thing is the glory always outweighs the trouble. So, I'm sitting here thinking how "heavy" my troubles are right now. The glory revealed at the end of all this is going to be HUGE!

v.18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For
what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

If you've ever owned your own business, lost weight, or even just purchased something on layaway, you're familiar with goals. You know what it is to focus on something you can't see. Imagine the unimaginable. That's all this is saying. But it specifically calls us to focus not on material goals, manmade ideals or worldly gain. It calls us to focus on future glory, on eternal life, on heaven if you will. These days, with all the talk about Obama being the antichrist and this being the end times, it is so easy to get wrapped up in the world. Sometimes I catch myself freaking out that I haven't done all I wanted to do, or I'll find myself just plain scared. That's when I have to remind myself to focus on the unseen glory of heaven. Like the song says, "I can only imagine..."

So when I started this post 11 days ago, I titled it "A rose is still a rose." For those of you who know me personally, you catch the play on words. But when I first read this passage, this is the phrase that popped into my head. You see no matter what you do to a rose, no matter how harsh the winter, how dry the summer, or how glorious the spring, a rose is still a rose.

A rose is still a rose

So yesterday my devotional, which was entitled "A Life of Becoming", was based on 2 Cor 4: 7-18. It made me reflect upon the current financial crisis in this country, and my own financial challenges, as well as the election at hand, in a new way. Here's what I mean.

vs. 8-9 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

You could easily deduce that many Americans are "hard pressed on every side" with credit card debt, over-their-head mortgages, high gas prices (though they're down to $2.99 here!) and the ever increasing price of food and essentials. But despite the doomsday-spouting media, most are not "crushed" by these hard times. I know some days it feels pretty squeaky tight around here but we're not crushed.

Many of us republicans are perplexed by not only our candidate but Obama too. We are perplexed that McCain hasn't called him out on so many things and perplexed that people actually believe the hogwash Obama spews. Yet we are not yet despaired. Personally, Scott and I have been perplexed a lot lately. We are continuously perplexed at the ebb and flow of our business. Some days the perplexity borders on discouragement but these days we are not despaired.

Persecuted? Oh yes, I know many Americans are feeling persecuted by bill collectors, and the like. But if only they'd realize they are not abandoned by the Almighty that would bring them comfort. We don't have bill collectors calling us, but again, we often feel persecuted in that we don't have the money to do all the things we want to do. Or persecuted in that we don't have all the business we want, or the customers are difficult and keep changing their minds. Sometimes I feel persecuted by my children who are always "taking" but so rarely "giving." Yet in all of this, we are never abandoned. He has never left us and never will leave us.

A few months ago, Scott and I felt struck down. We felt knocked on our butts by something a "friend" did and said. It has taken months for us to recover from this. And it did nearly destroy our business, our confidence, our forward motion. But we remained faithful. We continued to seek His guidance and He spared us from destruction.

There's so much more to this passage...but my laptop battery is about to die. I will pick up tomorrow and you will see why I say "a rose is still a rose."

Fall has fallen

Without question, fall is my favorite time of year. The colors of the leaves, especially the fire engine red, are just jaw-dropping beautiful. I love seeing the huge hay rolls alongside the roads and hearing the geese above head. It's so surreal sometimes that I have to remind myself that I'm awake. The only thing missing from the fantasy is football. We watch it on TV as much as possible but the Raiders aren't on TV much here. And, honestly, there's nothing that can replace the experience of being in the black hole itself.

But fall also means my schedule gets full fast. From August until February, it's crazy holiday chaos at Avon and since I work part-part-time for the company as well as sell, it's doubly crazy for me. And MOPS started in September, so that keeps me busy on Thursdays. I've also joined a book club and I'm thinking of starting a writers' group. But maybe not until January. To answer your question, yes I'm writing. I haven't sold any other pieces yet, but I'm working on it. A few weeks ago, I felt a friendly pressure from my Maker to get back to work and start writing again. I know without question He has something He wants me to write, I just need to do it.
The election consumes most of my brain-space these days. I'm so excited to have Palin on the ticket and am planning a "Palin Power/Moms for McCain" event for October.

Whew!

Since Gracie and I came home from the hospital, it's been pretty non-stop around here. I pushed myself too hard that first week and had a little set-back in my c-section recovery. But a little rest went a long way and now I'm feeling nearly 100%. The nerves are starting to regenerate so I have some itchiness along my abdomen and some numbness still in my rear, but other than that, I'm good as new. All the baby weight is gone plus an additional 8 pounds, so I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm short on time tonight, so I'll just tell you about the photos below and post more later. First, we discovered we didn't have a current "Wolfer family" photo that included Adam and/or Gracie. So, we rectified that problem on Saturday before going on a trail ride at She-She's. On Sunday, we went to Medora with Grammy, Pops, Grandpa and Grandma K. While there, we drove through Theodore Roosevelt National Park and three times we had to stop for buffalo crossing the road. The first time the buffalo came right up to the RV so I got some great photos.

1 to 2

Well before I go into my last day as a mommy of one, I'll tell you about our 4th. We spent the afternoon at my parents' neighbor's house where we had a BBQ and homemade ice cream. The kids went on a treasure hunt and then we all went to my parents' for swimming. Then we went back to the neighbor's for dinner. Isn't that funny? But that's the way people are up here. Mi casa es su casa is really the mindset. I think about the neighborhood I grew up in in San Leandro. Until we got married, I'd never lived anywhere else (well except for that summer at Oxford). The neighbors were as good as family, I thought. But, in the 31 years my parents lived on that street, they were never once invited over for a BBQ. That just didn't happen on Daily Court. Here we've known folks no more than 2 years and we're treated like family. I'm not saying folks are better people up here. I just look at this as another confirmation that moving here was meant to be for us.

Anyhow, after dinner, Scott and Pops went to buy fireworks. You won't believe the kind of fireworks we can set off here. We're talking rockets launched several hundred feet into the air with repetitive explosions. So Scott starts the show, at the end of my parents driveway and I sit with Adam, G and P up on the porch under the eaves, about 200 feet away. Halfway through the "show", Scott lights one of the big rockets but part of it misfires and shoots right at us. It lands about 4 feet to my left and then explodes. The boom was so loud I felt disoriented afterwards. When I came to my senses and saw that Adam was okay, I realized my arm was burning. Sure enough I'd caught a spark and have two 2nd degree burns, each about the size of a nickel. And I also had a bunch of singed hair.

Can you believe it?! I'm okay now, but it's kind of funny. Growing up, I was always terrified of fireworks whether they were sparklers or the show at Disneyland. I was always certain that I'd get hurt. I would hide inside the souvenir shops at Disneyland because I thought the sparks would land on me. What I didn't know is that one day they would! In our own backyard! Ironic!
So it's a little after 8pm here, and that means in less than 12 hours our baby girl will be here. Today's been kind of surreal. Everything is done and we're ready to go. It kind of feels like the night before our wedding. It's hard to believe tomorrow is the big day and all this waiting and preparation has led up to this. Months and months of waiting, planning, praying and here it is. I'm not really nervous. I wasn't nervous the night before our wedding, nor was I nervous the night before Adam was induced. I'm just ready to be mama of two.

So I'm signing off as Adam's mama only to return as mama of two.

Huge

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. All is well, I'm just huge. Rosebud is consuming more calories than I can give her, I'm afraid, and though she's growing the scale is going down. I guess I shouldn't complain. She's still measuring bigger than her gestational age, about 2 weeks ahead. The doctor has said twice that she will be a sizable baby, but hasn't guessed how big just yet. I have had this scientific theory since we set the c-section date that she'll be about 8 lbs 8 oz. I told my doctor this at my last appointment, and all she said was "uh huh" in a very dismissing tone. Not sure what that means. Blood pressure is good, sugars are good, no edema. By this time with Adam, I couldn't wear my wedding ring and the only shoes that fit were flip-flops. So things are going well. But other than that, I feel like I have a basketball between my legs. I'm carrying her very low and it makes it hard to walk or do anything, really! Her room is just about done and so we're ready for her to make her debut in just a few weeks. I see the doc again on June 24 and July 1 and then baby will be here.

Trust & Obey

Last week, Scott and I were presented with yet another opportunity to "trust and obey." We were at a crossroads in our business and incidentally our faith. And frankly, we were weary with frustration, confused by our choices and in general, overwhelmed. As the week wore on we sought God's leading, begging Him to give us a sign, close a door, open a window, something, anything! But, He was strangely quiet. We've been together nine years and this certainly isn't the first time we've had to make a life-altering decision. But in times past, we've walked confidently down the path we knew God was leading. Moving to North Dakota is a perfect example. We knew in the instant Scott suggested North Dakota that God was calling us here and seven months later, we walked into our new home. But this time was different. There were no sure signs, no internal leadings, no audible voice. And so, on Friday as I emptied the dishwasher, a phrase slipped into my mind: When God is Quiet. I stopped emptying the dishwasher and began writing and consequently crying (I do that a lot lately -- it's gotta be hormones). Anyhow, while I was writing, I realized we were on a walk of blind faith. And no sooner did I share this with Scott did the phone ring. In reality the person on the other end was a customer for whom Scott had quoted a job. But in my mind, it was God. The silence was broken.

That night we attended Good Friday service. I sat through the service shushing Adam every two seconds and constantly shifting in my seat to stop Rosebud from stepping on my bladder. When the closing prayer came, I won't lie, I was ready to go. But that's when the speaker quoted these lyrics from a popular BarlowGirl song:
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent

I couldn't get my pen to write fast enough. Scott just smiled at me. I've since looked up the lyrics from the song. You can read them here. And listen to the song here.

Turns out this wasn't the only blessing in store for us last week-end. Read on.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter from the prairie! We were blessed with a beautiful sunny day in the low 40s (hard to believe I'm calling that beautiful), clear skies and no snow. The snow melted a few weeks ago, but on Thursday another inch fell. I was pretty frustrated. But it melted on Friday and with any luck we'll only have rain from now until summer. Anyhow, back to Easter. After church, we had lunch at my parents and then the famous egg hunt.

At church, this morning, they had a story time for the kids 3-10 years old up on the stage. Stephanie, the children's pastor, took a piece of paper and put it in a pan of water and tried lighting it. When she couldn't, she asked the kids, "Do you know anyone who could do such an amazing and impossible thing?" Adam, who was sitting just a few inches from the microphone, said "That would be my dad." Stephanie could easily see us sitting in the third row and asked, "Scott, what do you think of that?" So after service, a lot of people greeted Scott as the "man who can do anything."

But the real Easter excitement happened this evening. At bedtime, Adam and I read a book called "Let's Celebrate Jesus on Easter." Afterwards, I asked Adam to again tell me why we celebrate Easter. He answered, "Because Jesus died and rose again." That started a discussion between the two of us about heaven. I told Adam that he could see Jesus (and Dido, GG and Buddy -- those who have died in his lifetime) in heaven one day if he told Jesus he believed in his death and resurrection (I used another word, I think) and asked Him to come live in his heart. He said, "okay." Puzzled, as this isn't the first time we've talked about this, I asked, "So do you want to pray right now? Pray with mommy about this?" He said, "Yeah." I told him to repeat after me and we prayed together. When we said Amen, I told him this meant Jesus was always with him, always there for him to talk to and ask for help and that he'd one day go to heaven with Mommy and Daddy. Then we called Daddy to come and celebrate with us.

Adam was so excited about what we'd just done together that we could hardly get him back into bed. He was dancing around the room and suddenly decided he needed to clean up his room too. (a sure sign the Holy Spirit was at work!) We'd had communion on Good Friday and Adam had asked about what we were doing. (At our church, we walk to the front to take communion) We explained to him that it was something we did to remember how Jesus died for us and that one day when he asked Jesus into his heart he too could take communion. So one of the things he was excited about tonight was being able to go up and take bread and juice with us.

I can't tell you the joy we both feel tonight! Of course, being pregnant and emotional, I've been crying tears of joy and tears of relief. And I can hear the angels rejoicing tonight!

Oops!

I can't believe I forgot to tell you this! Last week-end I found out that MomSense magazine purchased a piece I'd written and submitted last fall! It will be published in the May/June 2008 issue.

Prayer Works

What a difference a week of prayer makes. Last Monday ranks with some of the worst days of my life for reasons beyond what I told you about in my post. Tuesday wasn't much better as I had to fill in for my boss and run two sales meetings because she had the flu. I was already starting to feel Adam's cold come on, but what were my choices? The two meetings went really well, but when I came home at 8:30pm, I was exhausted and most definitely sick. I spent Wednesday through Friday in bed. Thursday night was miserable for me as I didn't get much sleep, worried about Monday's events and how they would work themselves out and if I'd ever feel better. Friday night, I went to bed with much apprehension, afraid I wouldn't sleep. As I shivered, tossed and turned, familiar words of a beloved worship song drifted into my mind:

Holding me still, holding me near in Your arms of love

So I laid there, singing those words in my mind over and over until I drifted to sleep. Praise God. But that's not the end of the story. Though I was starting to feel better this morning, we still had last Monday's problem to work out. Both Scott and I were worried and stressed. So before he got on the phone to straighten things out, we buried our heads and prayed. We prayed to our God who is bigger than the cold, bigger than laryngitis, bigger than a slow season in our business. He's even bigger than our biggest problem. Then Scott got on the phone. Not long after, Scott called to me from upstairs. I went into the foyer and looked up at my husband who was beaming from ear to ear. God had answered our prayers and taken away our problem as if it hadn't happened. As Scott said this morning, "I don't know what He did, but it was only something He could do." And he is right. God showed us, again today, that He can -- and wants to -- handle all our problems big or small, life changing or not. And so I leave you with that. What is on your shoulders weighing you down today that you need your Heavenly Father to take away from you? Have you asked?

Bad Day

Have you ever had one of those days that goes from bad to worse? Well, folks, today was that day for us. It started at 2am when Adam woke up with a cough and a fever. About an hour later the normally sedate Rosebud decided she wanted to play gymnast. The day slowly unravels from there. Finally dinner time comes. Crash in the living room. I go running to find Oscar has knocked my grandmother's fostoria glass and our antique teapots (both my grandmother's and Scott's grandmother's) off the table. Lucky for him nothing is broken. I spin around and see he has also shredded my dried wedding bouquet. I go hunting for him. He attacks me from behind and claws into my leg. I lock him up. A few minutes go by and Scott yells from bedroom. Oscar has pee'd on our mattress and freshly washed sheets. By this time, Scott is beyond mad and I can't do anything but laugh. We clean the mattress, Scott still cussing and me still laughing, and put the sheets back into the wash. We're really thinking about going back to bed until April if this is how March is going to be.

It's a girl!

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 5:30am nervous and anxious for the ultrasound. Rosebud hasn't been as active as Adam was and that concerned me. She moved a lot at 13 and 14 weeks and then by 17 weeks only moved occasionally. Scott, my friends and the doctor all tried to comfort me, but I was still nervous. And when someone pointed out that often when you're pregnant with twins, the babies won't move as much because they run out of space. Well, we know of 8 sets of twins on my mom's side of the family. The last few days before the ultrasound were pretty tense as we imagined the possibility of two babies. It hasn't helped that Adam has said from the beginning that there were "2 girls" in mommy's belly. Some people said we would have known before 19 weeks if twins were in store, but not necessarily. We hadn't had an ultrasound yet. My blood test wasn't until 11 weeks and the HCG hormone (if it's high it can mean twins) levels off and declines between weeks 8-10. And we didn't have the AFP test or any birth defect testing done and sometimes those will divulge twins. So going into this ultrasound, we both felt anything was possible.

The ultrasound was scheduled for 9am with a 10:30 doctor's appointment following. We arrived to the lab at 8:45 and thank God, we were called in early. Little Rosebud, like her brother, was difficult to photograph for the sonographer. However, unlike her brother she was calm, sleepy and mellow. She simply didn't want to move to show the sonographer her spine or all four chambers of his heart. So we have to go back on March 26 for additional pictures. The sonographer reassured us that nothing is wrong. She said she can see the spine and heart fine, but because stubborn Rosebud wouldn't move into a better position, she couldn't get the pictures and measurements she needs for the doctor. And the doctor confirmed that. So we're not worried.

After all the measurements were done, we said we wanted to know the gender so if she could see it please let us know. Now I have to admit, I took a crash course online on what boy and girl anatomy look like on an ultrasound. I knew we were looking for "lines" not...hmmm how do I say this..."tubular" shapes. So when she rolled over Rosebud and said, "here's the bottom" I held my breath. But then she pointed to the "lines" and said, "this means it's a girl." I literally shot my hands into the air and said, "hooray!" Scott beamed from ear to ear.

Based on the measurements she took, Rosebud is a little bigger than Adam was at this stage. So we could be expecting another big baby, but who knows. It's early to tell. It did look like she has long legs and arms. But that was just my own opinion, I didn't ask the sonographer what the measurements were.

Two hours later we were done with our doctor appointment and left the hospital. Both Scott and I had messages from excited friends and family dying to hear the news. The visit took longer than we thought because ultrasound forgot to send the report to the doctor, so a few of my friends were nervous thinking something was wrong. But, all was well. And most everyone we talked to were so very excited that Rosebud's a girl. :)

Tuck!

Scott and I celebrated 6 years of marriage on Saturday. We went for a drive and ended up in Jamestown which is 99 miles from Bismarck. We ate at Buffalo City Grille, which was nice and reminded us of a restaurant we once ate at in Sacramento. 2008 also marks 9 years since we first met.

Yesterday we watched the Superbowl and I am THRILLED that the Giants won. I still haven't forgiven Tom Brady and the Patriots for stealing the AFC championship from the Raiders in 2002. I remember that night as if it was a few weeks ago. We went to Auntie Jo's for cioppino and then all of us crashed on her sofa and floor to watch the game. There it was January 19 with 2 minutes left to play. Raiders were ahead 13-10 when Brady attempted a pass but was tackled by Woodson and fumbled the ball. Biekert recovered the ball for the Raiders and the Superbowl was in sight. Then the stupid official, as usual, sided against the Raiders during a play recall and said the tuck rule applied. With that, the Pats got the ball back, tied it up with a field goal and in OT won the game. Because of 9/11, the Superbowl was postponed one week, and was rescheduled for 2/3/02, the day after our wedding. As the Raiders marched towards the 'Bowl, Scott and I made plans to buy Superbowl Aloha shirts to wear as we left our wedding. And, since we would have landed in Kahului just minutes after kick-off, we planned on immediately finding a bar to watch the game before even going to our condo. But, alas, that dream was dashed because of a supposed tuck. So, imagine my glee last night when Tuck, a defensive lineman for the Giants, sacked Brady 5 times! I'm pretty sure that retribution was served. Now only if Tuck was a Raider and last night was the AFC championship game. Oh well, a girl can always dream.

Quoted!

"They quoted me! They quoted me!" I screamed laughter erupting in my voice. "I called National Geographic 'drivel' on national TV." More exciting than that is the fact that ABC news teams read and reacted to my writing! As a budding writer, this is very exciting. Who needs to get published? Charles Gibson has already read my work! Hahahahahahahahah Well, I won't go that far.