Thursday, April 30, 2009
It's Finished
Closure is a wonderful thing and today I received just that in the form of a card. If you read my post regarding a note I sent, know that today I received confirmation that I did the right thing. I have peace. I have closure. Now I can heal. It feels like a brand new me.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Fear is a Terrible Waste of Time
Fear can be paralyzing. Encapsulating. Imprisoning. Fear deceives. Fear disables. Fear sucks. And, it's a terrible waste of time and energy.
We're coming up on the three year anniversary of our move to ND in June. A lot of people have asked me in those three years, "weren't you scared?" No. I wasn't. I never gave fear a second thought. I knew, without a doubt, that God had called us to ND for some purpose. So no I wasn't scared to leave the only home I'd ever really known. I wasn't scared to buy a house without ever having stepped foot in it. It just never occurred to me to be afraid.
But, about six months later, I realized I was terrified. Job-hunting had proved fruitless for Scott. Our neighbors didn't rush over with muffins like Bree on Desperate Housewives. And winter was knocking on our door. I'd only been to the snow a handful of times and certainly had never driven in it. And, sitting in the Grand Theatre watching "Facing the Giants" I realized I was scared. Scared stiff. A few days later I heard "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns on the radio. If you don't know it, I've posted the lyrics at the end of this post. There I was, pulling into the Big Lots parking lot, tears streaming down my cheeks. Wow. I was scared.
In "Facing the Giants" one of the characters says that the phrase "do not be afraid" is mentioned in the Bible 365 times. I decided I needed to research this. Certainly someone had listed all of these verses. But I didn't get around to it. Then one day a week or so later, I fell and sprained my ankle. I had nothing to do but sit around with my Bible and laptop looking up every last "do not be afraid" phrase in the Bible. And I did it. I found 'em all. I even made myself a nifty calendar with a verse for each day.
It's funny to me how God orchestrated a movie, a song and an ankle to help me overcome my fear. Only God could pull off such a bizarre combination of events.
In the years that have gone, I've encountered many people who are fearful. Lately, the biggest thing people are afraid of is job-related. And indeed it is a scary time for a lot of people. But fear is just such a waste of time. It has no benefits. And it stops us from doing the very thing we need to do more times than not. So, if you're reading this and you're afraid, email me. Somewhere around here I have a calendar of all the verses that I'd love to give you. And repeat after me, "Fear is a waste of time."
We're coming up on the three year anniversary of our move to ND in June. A lot of people have asked me in those three years, "weren't you scared?" No. I wasn't. I never gave fear a second thought. I knew, without a doubt, that God had called us to ND for some purpose. So no I wasn't scared to leave the only home I'd ever really known. I wasn't scared to buy a house without ever having stepped foot in it. It just never occurred to me to be afraid.
But, about six months later, I realized I was terrified. Job-hunting had proved fruitless for Scott. Our neighbors didn't rush over with muffins like Bree on Desperate Housewives. And winter was knocking on our door. I'd only been to the snow a handful of times and certainly had never driven in it. And, sitting in the Grand Theatre watching "Facing the Giants" I realized I was scared. Scared stiff. A few days later I heard "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns on the radio. If you don't know it, I've posted the lyrics at the end of this post. There I was, pulling into the Big Lots parking lot, tears streaming down my cheeks. Wow. I was scared.
In "Facing the Giants" one of the characters says that the phrase "do not be afraid" is mentioned in the Bible 365 times. I decided I needed to research this. Certainly someone had listed all of these verses. But I didn't get around to it. Then one day a week or so later, I fell and sprained my ankle. I had nothing to do but sit around with my Bible and laptop looking up every last "do not be afraid" phrase in the Bible. And I did it. I found 'em all. I even made myself a nifty calendar with a verse for each day.
It's funny to me how God orchestrated a movie, a song and an ankle to help me overcome my fear. Only God could pull off such a bizarre combination of events.
In the years that have gone, I've encountered many people who are fearful. Lately, the biggest thing people are afraid of is job-related. And indeed it is a scary time for a lot of people. But fear is just such a waste of time. It has no benefits. And it stops us from doing the very thing we need to do more times than not. So, if you're reading this and you're afraid, email me. Somewhere around here I have a calendar of all the verses that I'd love to give you. And repeat after me, "Fear is a waste of time."
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Jesus is Alive!
Every morning, Adam gets up about 45 minutes before we do. And though we've told him he can't come into our room until the clock says 6:30, he often comes down and uses the bathroom outside our bedroom. This baffles me since there are two bathrooms upstairs both of which he passes as he journies from his room to the guest bath outside our bedroom door. Maybe it's because he can stare at himself in the mirror while he does his business. He often holds full conversations, sings songs, or acts out stories in the mirror while taking his marathon poop.
This morning, I was roused from my deep sleep by a purely angelic voice. It took me a few moments before I realized it was Adam singing in the guest bathroom once again.
"Jesus is alive, Jesus is alive, Jesus is alive," he sang over and over again.
A smile spread across my face as I realized it was Adam singing this little worship tune. How humbled and proud I was at the very same time. It was only a little over a year ago that my sweet boy prayed to ask Jesus into his heart. And I am so blessed to hear him worship his Savior albeit in the most unusual of circumstances. It was an awesome way to start a day!
This morning, I was roused from my deep sleep by a purely angelic voice. It took me a few moments before I realized it was Adam singing in the guest bathroom once again.
"Jesus is alive, Jesus is alive, Jesus is alive," he sang over and over again.
A smile spread across my face as I realized it was Adam singing this little worship tune. How humbled and proud I was at the very same time. It was only a little over a year ago that my sweet boy prayed to ask Jesus into his heart. And I am so blessed to hear him worship his Savior albeit in the most unusual of circumstances. It was an awesome way to start a day!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Happy Easter
Happy Easter! Though I always thought it would be more appropriate to say "Happy Resurrection Day!" So there you go. Happy Resurrection Day and Happy Easter.
We had a good day today despite my having a migraine and subsequent temper tantrum. Oh well. That's what Easter is about, right? New beginnings? My migraine finally departed.
One thing that struck me today was solemnity. Many, many folks were dressed in dark suits (women included) in church today as though they were going to a funeral. And even when we sang my favorite Easter hymn "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" it was so morose. We also sang "Did you feel the mountains tremble?" and it was like everyone was in a stupor of mourning. I wanted to get up on stage and say, "People! Did you not get the memo? He's alive!"
I've been reflecting upon this a lot today. Is it catholic guilt? I know a lot of people in our church were raised catholic and maybe their solemnity is a hold-over from the upbringing. Or was there something else going on in church this morning? I don't remember it being so morose last year, but then I was pregnant and sick, so you can't rely on my memory.
In any case, it was very upsetting. I actually left church depressed, bored and out-of-sorts. I don't know what was going on there today. But I'm pretty sure when God transplanted us to ND, He sent us to this church for a reason.
We had a good day today despite my having a migraine and subsequent temper tantrum. Oh well. That's what Easter is about, right? New beginnings? My migraine finally departed.
One thing that struck me today was solemnity. Many, many folks were dressed in dark suits (women included) in church today as though they were going to a funeral. And even when we sang my favorite Easter hymn "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" it was so morose. We also sang "Did you feel the mountains tremble?" and it was like everyone was in a stupor of mourning. I wanted to get up on stage and say, "People! Did you not get the memo? He's alive!"
I've been reflecting upon this a lot today. Is it catholic guilt? I know a lot of people in our church were raised catholic and maybe their solemnity is a hold-over from the upbringing. Or was there something else going on in church this morning? I don't remember it being so morose last year, but then I was pregnant and sick, so you can't rely on my memory.
In any case, it was very upsetting. I actually left church depressed, bored and out-of-sorts. I don't know what was going on there today. But I'm pretty sure when God transplanted us to ND, He sent us to this church for a reason.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Enlightenment
Today brought enlightenment. Twice. Hence it also brought a raging headache that neither ibuprofen, a hot bath nor copious amounts of caffeine have eradicated.
My son received a birthday present in the mail today. This shouldn't surprise anyone as his fifth birthday was on Thursday. And while he is enthralled by the Legos, I am somewhat less enthused with the enlightenment it brought along with it. You see, the gift was from my brother-in-law. It suddenly occured to me that to my brother-in-law, Adam's birthday is worthy of rememberence because he is a blood relative. My birthday, on the other hand, is consistently and repeatedly overlooked. I don't know the reason for this, but I do know that my step-mother-in-law's birthday is also repeatedly overlooked. I also know that he and his wife do not consider her part of his family. Therefore, simple deduction would tell us that I too am not counted as family. Therein lies the first enlightenment of the day.
I shed many tears over that bit, but I have a plan to deal with it. I'll keep you posted.
As you can imagine, I really needed a long, hot bath tonight. I decided to also take along with me some "mindless reading" aka magazines. There on the page, in a little tiny text box was the blurb of enlightenment. Did you know that a gum infection can cause insulin resistance in turn raising your blood sugars to prediabetic or even diabetic levels? Oh my.
I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes while pregnant with Gracey. At my appointment with the diabetic educator, I told her I had had a gum and tooth infection at the time of the testing and was still being treated for that. (My test scores were only 2-3 points over the cut-off and my daily numbers were in the normal range with the exception of my morning number which was only slightly elevated by about 4 points) She actually laughed at me and said, "So? I had my gall bladder removed when I was pregnant and that didn't make me diabetic." I was polite and didn't say anything. Fact is, when she was pregnant (she's in her 70s) there was no such thing as gestational diabetes and having your gall bladder removed is very, very different from having an infection. Anyhow, during the course of my pregnancy, I had 2 different gum and tooth infections and a sinus infection all of which went mostly untreated because antibiotics during pregnancy is tricky at best.
So, I will be clipping out that blurb and attaching with it a letter then sending it on to this not-so-nice woman. Perhaps then she will be the enlightened one.
My son received a birthday present in the mail today. This shouldn't surprise anyone as his fifth birthday was on Thursday. And while he is enthralled by the Legos, I am somewhat less enthused with the enlightenment it brought along with it. You see, the gift was from my brother-in-law. It suddenly occured to me that to my brother-in-law, Adam's birthday is worthy of rememberence because he is a blood relative. My birthday, on the other hand, is consistently and repeatedly overlooked. I don't know the reason for this, but I do know that my step-mother-in-law's birthday is also repeatedly overlooked. I also know that he and his wife do not consider her part of his family. Therefore, simple deduction would tell us that I too am not counted as family. Therein lies the first enlightenment of the day.
I shed many tears over that bit, but I have a plan to deal with it. I'll keep you posted.
As you can imagine, I really needed a long, hot bath tonight. I decided to also take along with me some "mindless reading" aka magazines. There on the page, in a little tiny text box was the blurb of enlightenment. Did you know that a gum infection can cause insulin resistance in turn raising your blood sugars to prediabetic or even diabetic levels? Oh my.
I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes while pregnant with Gracey. At my appointment with the diabetic educator, I told her I had had a gum and tooth infection at the time of the testing and was still being treated for that. (My test scores were only 2-3 points over the cut-off and my daily numbers were in the normal range with the exception of my morning number which was only slightly elevated by about 4 points) She actually laughed at me and said, "So? I had my gall bladder removed when I was pregnant and that didn't make me diabetic." I was polite and didn't say anything. Fact is, when she was pregnant (she's in her 70s) there was no such thing as gestational diabetes and having your gall bladder removed is very, very different from having an infection. Anyhow, during the course of my pregnancy, I had 2 different gum and tooth infections and a sinus infection all of which went mostly untreated because antibiotics during pregnancy is tricky at best.
So, I will be clipping out that blurb and attaching with it a letter then sending it on to this not-so-nice woman. Perhaps then she will be the enlightened one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)