Satan Sucks

Having completed my study on fear two years ago, I've often scoffed at the question, "What is your greatest fear?" Not much scares me any more. But, this week I've learned I have a new nemesis: self-doubt.

Those of you who know me know that I'm a fairly confident person. I don't have a problem with public speaking. I don't question myself. I feel pretty good about where I am in my life. So this self-doubt thing was a real curve ball.

Last Thursday evening, my Avon manager informed me that she was going to have to have surgery and wanted me to be her stand-in for the four weeks she'll need to recover. I was so excited about this opportunity when we talked about it. Friday we got together and though I was starting to stress a little, her departure was still a week away, so I was still excited. On Monday afternoon, however, she told me her surgery would be today. So yesterday we had to pack in all the training, all the supplies, all the logistics into a few hours. I was overwhelmed.

As I drove to my mom's to get my kids, I just started to cry. I wondered what I had done to my nice, neat little life. The fact that this interruption would only last four weeks did not soothe me. By the time I went to bed, I was a blubbering mess. Scott kept asking me what was wrong, wanting me to tell him what part of all this had upset me. But all I could say was "all of it." Needless to say I didn't sleep very well. I woke up exhausted with a headache (from crying) and still feeling overwhelmed, I was again a puddle of tears.

Just before leaving to start my day (which included 3 hours of conference calls first thing this morning) I was standing in the laundry room when it hit me. Satan sucks. He was using self-doubt as a weapon against me and had cut me off at the knees. Self-doubt is really nothing more than fancy fear. And when I realized that, I could put all of it back into perspective, claim God's 365 "do not be afraid" phrases and hold tight to His promises. The day totally changed.

As I continued to think about this self-doubt thing, I realized it's one of Satan's favorite and most powerful tools. He even tried to use it on Jesus when he tempted Him. Think about it for a second. Satan knew Jesus could make bread from rocks. The scorcerers of Pharoah's time could do such tricks. But what he was really trying to do was attack Jesus' self-worth, His knowledge of Himself, His sense of self. He was trying to incite self-doubt. It's the same thing when a dieter gives in and eats a cupcake or an ex-alcoholic has a drink. The cupcake and the beer aren't the sin, consuming them may cause weight-gain or a slip from the wagon, but those things can't destroy you on their own. But, self-doubt can. And does.

You see, self-doubt robs us of faith. And anything that interrupts our faith in God is directly related to Satan. So again I say, Satan sucks.

So, tonight as I prepare to go to bed and hopefully sleep like a log, I want to remind you of a few of my favorite reassuring verses. Perhaps you'll need them some day too.

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 1 Tim 1:7

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." Phil 4:6

"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. " Rom 8:18

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." 1 Pet 5:6-8