So I was on the road again today, this time to Dickinson, and I got to thinking about our life here in North Dakota. These road trips have been good for me because sometimes I start to feel like life here isn't any different from life back in California. But as I zip through the rolling hills, rocky buttes and expansive blue sky I realize how good we have it here. And I've come to the conclusion that unless you are blessed with this knowledge of the good life, you would have to have lived somewhere else to recognize its goodness.
We have no traffic. It's 99 miles from here to Dickinson. I make it there in about an hour and fifteen minutes. I remember when driving the 70 miles to my in-laws would take us almost three hours because of the traffic.
We have 0 to little crime. Though I don't make a habit of leaving my car unlocked even when going in to pay for my gas, if I did, my car and all its contents would still be there.
Strangers say hello and smile at you. If you need help, they are willing to give it. Men are still (mostly) chivalrous.
Schools do not have metal detectors, narcs, or gun-toting security guards.
Church is not a curse word. Even if the cashier at Kmart isn't a believer, they've probably been to church, still go to church or don't mind if you talk about your church. Even non-church-goers recognize that people go to church on Sunday. I love that we can't buy alcohol on Sundays and that stores don't open until noon. It would be okay with me if they were all closed on Sunday.
There's fishing, hunting, camping, and every other outdoor activity you can imagine. Dropping by a friend's house is not a big formal event. We work hard, we party hard. It's a simple life here in ND and I could go on and on about the benefits and advantages to living here over somewhere else. But, to sum it up in the words of a famous country song, "We're from the country and we like it that way."
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
In Review
Since starting my stint as stand-in manager, I've been to Dickinson and Ft. Yates twice each. That equates to lots of quiet driving time without interruption. I heard a song on one of the road trips that made me start playing my life back in a powerpoint presentation manner. Can I remember the song now? No. But here are my favorite "slides."
The first time Gracey responded to our voices in the NICU.
Adam running laps and giggling when we arrived at Disney World.
Watching Scott dismount the horse in a prince costume and knowing he was about to propose.
Singing "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" with my classmates on the last day of massage school.
Sitting in my 14th century dorm room at Oxford and watching the carpet blow up off the floor in the summer breeze.
Protesting tuition hikes, tenure denials and going co-ed at Mills. Better dead than co-ed.
Choking on a vitamin, stopping breathing and going unconscious in Paris where I was then rescusitated by the Pizza Hut guy riding a moped.
Leading VBS in Coslada, Spain.
Watching the OJ Simpson "low speed chase" on TV before going to my high school graduation ceremony.
Passing out sandwiches and witnessing to the homeless in Berkeley's People's Park. Having said sandwiches thrown at me because we put mustard on them again even though the guy who lived on Telegraph had told us he didn't like mustard.
And now my mind is toast and I can't remember anything else. I guess that means I'm old.
The first time Gracey responded to our voices in the NICU.
Adam running laps and giggling when we arrived at Disney World.
Watching Scott dismount the horse in a prince costume and knowing he was about to propose.
Singing "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" with my classmates on the last day of massage school.
Sitting in my 14th century dorm room at Oxford and watching the carpet blow up off the floor in the summer breeze.
Protesting tuition hikes, tenure denials and going co-ed at Mills. Better dead than co-ed.
Choking on a vitamin, stopping breathing and going unconscious in Paris where I was then rescusitated by the Pizza Hut guy riding a moped.
Leading VBS in Coslada, Spain.
Watching the OJ Simpson "low speed chase" on TV before going to my high school graduation ceremony.
Passing out sandwiches and witnessing to the homeless in Berkeley's People's Park. Having said sandwiches thrown at me because we put mustard on them again even though the guy who lived on Telegraph had told us he didn't like mustard.
And now my mind is toast and I can't remember anything else. I guess that means I'm old.
Monday, May 18, 2009
My Calling is Clear
So I've been standing in as District Manager for almost two weeks now. And while I really enjoy many parts of the job, I know one thing for sure. I need to be a stay-at-home mom right now.
Since moving here and making the decision to stay home, I've often wondered if it was the right call. Money's been tight living off one salary. I know many of you can relate. Often times, I've looked at jobs and even applied but nothing came of it. But still I've wondered should I go back to work?
When Gwen called me two weeks ago and asked me to stand in for her, I didn't even think twice. The extra money is needed and I wanted to help her out because she's not only my boss, she's my friend. And, I wanted to better understand what she does when I'm not with her so I can be a better help to her. Also, she's often teased me that I could steal her job. Though I wouldn't do that, it made me wonder if I could really do what she does.
So, here I am two weeks into the four-six week stint as manager and I can't wait to go back to my provincial life as stay-at-home mom and Avon Lady. Don't get me wrong. I am loving the interaction with the reps, loving the challenge, loving the excitement and the feeling of being productive. And maybe one day many years from now I'd like to be a district manager somewhere in the country. I'd love to be Gwen's sister-manager.
But for now, I am so very happy to be a mom, wife and Avon lady. Sure, it means tight budgets and days full of diapers and Legos, but I'll take it. I'll take it happily.
Since moving here and making the decision to stay home, I've often wondered if it was the right call. Money's been tight living off one salary. I know many of you can relate. Often times, I've looked at jobs and even applied but nothing came of it. But still I've wondered should I go back to work?
When Gwen called me two weeks ago and asked me to stand in for her, I didn't even think twice. The extra money is needed and I wanted to help her out because she's not only my boss, she's my friend. And, I wanted to better understand what she does when I'm not with her so I can be a better help to her. Also, she's often teased me that I could steal her job. Though I wouldn't do that, it made me wonder if I could really do what she does.
So, here I am two weeks into the four-six week stint as manager and I can't wait to go back to my provincial life as stay-at-home mom and Avon Lady. Don't get me wrong. I am loving the interaction with the reps, loving the challenge, loving the excitement and the feeling of being productive. And maybe one day many years from now I'd like to be a district manager somewhere in the country. I'd love to be Gwen's sister-manager.
But for now, I am so very happy to be a mom, wife and Avon lady. Sure, it means tight budgets and days full of diapers and Legos, but I'll take it. I'll take it happily.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Satan Sucks
Having completed my study on fear two years ago, I've often scoffed at the question, "What is your greatest fear?" Not much scares me any more. But, this week I've learned I have a new nemesis: self-doubt.
Those of you who know me know that I'm a fairly confident person. I don't have a problem with public speaking. I don't question myself. I feel pretty good about where I am in my life. So this self-doubt thing was a real curve ball.
Last Thursday evening, my Avon manager informed me that she was going to have to have surgery and wanted me to be her stand-in for the four weeks she'll need to recover. I was so excited about this opportunity when we talked about it. Friday we got together and though I was starting to stress a little, her departure was still a week away, so I was still excited. On Monday afternoon, however, she told me her surgery would be today. So yesterday we had to pack in all the training, all the supplies, all the logistics into a few hours. I was overwhelmed.
As I drove to my mom's to get my kids, I just started to cry. I wondered what I had done to my nice, neat little life. The fact that this interruption would only last four weeks did not soothe me. By the time I went to bed, I was a blubbering mess. Scott kept asking me what was wrong, wanting me to tell him what part of all this had upset me. But all I could say was "all of it." Needless to say I didn't sleep very well. I woke up exhausted with a headache (from crying) and still feeling overwhelmed, I was again a puddle of tears.
Just before leaving to start my day (which included 3 hours of conference calls first thing this morning) I was standing in the laundry room when it hit me. Satan sucks. He was using self-doubt as a weapon against me and had cut me off at the knees. Self-doubt is really nothing more than fancy fear. And when I realized that, I could put all of it back into perspective, claim God's 365 "do not be afraid" phrases and hold tight to His promises. The day totally changed.
As I continued to think about this self-doubt thing, I realized it's one of Satan's favorite and most powerful tools. He even tried to use it on Jesus when he tempted Him. Think about it for a second. Satan knew Jesus could make bread from rocks. The scorcerers of Pharoah's time could do such tricks. But what he was really trying to do was attack Jesus' self-worth, His knowledge of Himself, His sense of self. He was trying to incite self-doubt. It's the same thing when a dieter gives in and eats a cupcake or an ex-alcoholic has a drink. The cupcake and the beer aren't the sin, consuming them may cause weight-gain or a slip from the wagon, but those things can't destroy you on their own. But, self-doubt can. And does.
You see, self-doubt robs us of faith. And anything that interrupts our faith in God is directly related to Satan. So again I say, Satan sucks.
So, tonight as I prepare to go to bed and hopefully sleep like a log, I want to remind you of a few of my favorite reassuring verses. Perhaps you'll need them some day too.
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 1 Tim 1:7
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." Phil 4:6
"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. " Rom 8:18
"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." 1 Pet 5:6-8
Those of you who know me know that I'm a fairly confident person. I don't have a problem with public speaking. I don't question myself. I feel pretty good about where I am in my life. So this self-doubt thing was a real curve ball.
Last Thursday evening, my Avon manager informed me that she was going to have to have surgery and wanted me to be her stand-in for the four weeks she'll need to recover. I was so excited about this opportunity when we talked about it. Friday we got together and though I was starting to stress a little, her departure was still a week away, so I was still excited. On Monday afternoon, however, she told me her surgery would be today. So yesterday we had to pack in all the training, all the supplies, all the logistics into a few hours. I was overwhelmed.
As I drove to my mom's to get my kids, I just started to cry. I wondered what I had done to my nice, neat little life. The fact that this interruption would only last four weeks did not soothe me. By the time I went to bed, I was a blubbering mess. Scott kept asking me what was wrong, wanting me to tell him what part of all this had upset me. But all I could say was "all of it." Needless to say I didn't sleep very well. I woke up exhausted with a headache (from crying) and still feeling overwhelmed, I was again a puddle of tears.
Just before leaving to start my day (which included 3 hours of conference calls first thing this morning) I was standing in the laundry room when it hit me. Satan sucks. He was using self-doubt as a weapon against me and had cut me off at the knees. Self-doubt is really nothing more than fancy fear. And when I realized that, I could put all of it back into perspective, claim God's 365 "do not be afraid" phrases and hold tight to His promises. The day totally changed.
As I continued to think about this self-doubt thing, I realized it's one of Satan's favorite and most powerful tools. He even tried to use it on Jesus when he tempted Him. Think about it for a second. Satan knew Jesus could make bread from rocks. The scorcerers of Pharoah's time could do such tricks. But what he was really trying to do was attack Jesus' self-worth, His knowledge of Himself, His sense of self. He was trying to incite self-doubt. It's the same thing when a dieter gives in and eats a cupcake or an ex-alcoholic has a drink. The cupcake and the beer aren't the sin, consuming them may cause weight-gain or a slip from the wagon, but those things can't destroy you on their own. But, self-doubt can. And does.
You see, self-doubt robs us of faith. And anything that interrupts our faith in God is directly related to Satan. So again I say, Satan sucks.
So, tonight as I prepare to go to bed and hopefully sleep like a log, I want to remind you of a few of my favorite reassuring verses. Perhaps you'll need them some day too.
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 1 Tim 1:7
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." Phil 4:6
"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. " Rom 8:18
"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." 1 Pet 5:6-8
Monday, May 4, 2009
Is It Friday Yet?
My oh my, what a day today has been. Hm. Makes me think of one of my favorite Amy Grant songs, "In a Little While." (lyrics below)
I went to bed last night dreading this week. It's bad news when you're on the brink of a panic attack and trying to get to sleep. So I prayed myself to sleep. At 6:21 am, I'm in a dead sleep when I hear "Mom, Mommy. Mom. Mommy. I wet my bed. I'm wet to my shoulders." I roll over and see the time. Why couldn't he have come down an hour before? Or waited 19 minutes when it's my time to get up? Oh well. Stripped him down, turned on the shower for him, put out his clean clothes and got back in bed until he got out of the shower. I then got up begrudgingly and went about my morning.
By the time we were in the car, I knew I needed a morning walk by myself. Just me, Gracey and my MP3 player tuned to Newsboys, Casting Crowns, even Amy Grant. I knew I needed the solace and the strength that I so often find in Christian music. And I was right. By the time my walk was done, my day was in full-swing. A card refresh at Target was punctuated with a GREAT deal on a swimsuit I'd been eyeing. It had been $35, went on sale for $17.50 on Friday and today was $8.74! Woo hoo! From there I went to Wal-Mart to do my grocery shopping. And that's where God clearly took over my day.
I finished grocery shopping in record time and ended up with plenty of time to go home and put the groceries away before getting Adam. So I did. Then I made two Avon deliveries that I was going to have to make this afternoon. Worked out swimmingly. Then my mom called and said she was going to Minot to do a card refresh up there as that person wasn't able to do their job. Did I want to come? Well, had I not had God on my side and accomplished all the above tasks, I would have had to say no. But I said yes, picked up Adam and away we went. Even the refresh only took an hour. So it really worked out.
We met Scott for dinner at Chinatown in Gateway Mall then came home. I was exhausted. Still am. I'm ready for Friday for sure. But, it feels good to have accomplished so much. Especially considering tomorrow I start as the stand-in manager at Avon and my week is going to be out-of-control.
Okay, now for the lyrics:
Got a ticket coming home,
Wish the officer had known
What a day today has been
Then I stumbled through the door,
Dropping junk mail on the floor
When will this day end?
But then your letter caught my eye,
Brought the hope in me to life, cause you know me very well,
And I bet you wrote me
Just to tell me,
In a little while,
Well be with the father Cant you see him smile?
In a little while, Well be home forever,
In a while
Were just here to learn to love him
Well be home in just a little while
Boy, that letter hit the spot
Made me think of all Ive got,
And all that waits for me
Guess Ive known it all day long
Wonder where my thoughts went wrong
When will my heart believe?
Waking half way through the night,
Reaching toward the lamp for light,
Picking up the word I find Heres another letter
To remind me
In a little while,
Well be with the father
Cant you see him smile?
In a little while,
Well be home forever,
In a while
Were just here to learn to love him
Well be home in just a little while
Days like these are just a test of our will
Will we walk or will we fall?
Well, I can almost see the top of the hill,
And I believe its worth it all In a little while,
Well be with the father Cant you see him smile?
In a little while, Well be home forever,
In a while
Were just here to learn to love him
Well be home in just a little while
I went to bed last night dreading this week. It's bad news when you're on the brink of a panic attack and trying to get to sleep. So I prayed myself to sleep. At 6:21 am, I'm in a dead sleep when I hear "Mom, Mommy. Mom. Mommy. I wet my bed. I'm wet to my shoulders." I roll over and see the time. Why couldn't he have come down an hour before? Or waited 19 minutes when it's my time to get up? Oh well. Stripped him down, turned on the shower for him, put out his clean clothes and got back in bed until he got out of the shower. I then got up begrudgingly and went about my morning.
By the time we were in the car, I knew I needed a morning walk by myself. Just me, Gracey and my MP3 player tuned to Newsboys, Casting Crowns, even Amy Grant. I knew I needed the solace and the strength that I so often find in Christian music. And I was right. By the time my walk was done, my day was in full-swing. A card refresh at Target was punctuated with a GREAT deal on a swimsuit I'd been eyeing. It had been $35, went on sale for $17.50 on Friday and today was $8.74! Woo hoo! From there I went to Wal-Mart to do my grocery shopping. And that's where God clearly took over my day.
I finished grocery shopping in record time and ended up with plenty of time to go home and put the groceries away before getting Adam. So I did. Then I made two Avon deliveries that I was going to have to make this afternoon. Worked out swimmingly. Then my mom called and said she was going to Minot to do a card refresh up there as that person wasn't able to do their job. Did I want to come? Well, had I not had God on my side and accomplished all the above tasks, I would have had to say no. But I said yes, picked up Adam and away we went. Even the refresh only took an hour. So it really worked out.
We met Scott for dinner at Chinatown in Gateway Mall then came home. I was exhausted. Still am. I'm ready for Friday for sure. But, it feels good to have accomplished so much. Especially considering tomorrow I start as the stand-in manager at Avon and my week is going to be out-of-control.
Okay, now for the lyrics:
Got a ticket coming home,
Wish the officer had known
What a day today has been
Then I stumbled through the door,
Dropping junk mail on the floor
When will this day end?
But then your letter caught my eye,
Brought the hope in me to life, cause you know me very well,
And I bet you wrote me
Just to tell me,
In a little while,
Well be with the father Cant you see him smile?
In a little while, Well be home forever,
In a while
Were just here to learn to love him
Well be home in just a little while
Boy, that letter hit the spot
Made me think of all Ive got,
And all that waits for me
Guess Ive known it all day long
Wonder where my thoughts went wrong
When will my heart believe?
Waking half way through the night,
Reaching toward the lamp for light,
Picking up the word I find Heres another letter
To remind me
In a little while,
Well be with the father
Cant you see him smile?
In a little while,
Well be home forever,
In a while
Were just here to learn to love him
Well be home in just a little while
Days like these are just a test of our will
Will we walk or will we fall?
Well, I can almost see the top of the hill,
And I believe its worth it all In a little while,
Well be with the father Cant you see him smile?
In a little while, Well be home forever,
In a while
Were just here to learn to love him
Well be home in just a little while
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