It's The Thought That Counts

Four years ago, I went to the Mount Hermon Christian Writer's Conference in the Santa Cruz mountains of California. I started writing poetry and short stories as a child and going to this particular conference had been a dream of mine for years. This was it. I was going to come home with a contract and my career as a published writer was going to take off. I arrived with two manuscripts, an idea for a third book and the eager anticipation of a child on Christmas morning.

Day 1 was great. So was Day 2.

On Day 3, I received my submissions back. Denied. Rejected. No thanks. I was crushed. Worse, I was surrounded by other writers who had already published a book, were about to publish a book or just received a contract. I remember laying down on a bench in the amphitheatre, hiding from my friends and roommates, hiding from the editors who crushed my dreams, hiding from God really, and just sobbing. Why would God give me a gift like writing but not give me the gift of publication? That's what I wanted after all. It's all I ever wanted.

Some time later, I realized I hadn't been using my gift for God's purposes but only my own. I had been acting like the girl with the 8 oz Coke. The gift wasn't enough for me because I wasn't looking at it through God's eyes. I was seeing only the gift and not the Giver.

Since that writer's conference, I've had pieces published and the glory has been God's. Wholly His. As I trust Him in and praise Him for His goodness, my ability to see the gift as He sees it grows.

Oh, I still get jealous and frustrated that others have more writing success than I do. But I'm human and I serve a loving, forgiving, gracious God who welcomes me back when my tantrum is over.

More Coke

I will bless you with a future filled with hope -- a future of success not of suffering. You will turn back to me and ask for help, and I will answer your prayers.

Jeremiah 29:11-12