This Feels Strangely Familiar

All last week I was overcome by a feeling of "boy I've been here before." I'm not talking about dejavu or some weird dream memory. No it's a sincere "this is familiar" feeling.

We're on the cusp of something. Something big. It's just around the corner and it's so very exciting. The scary thing is the last time I felt this way, the bottom fell out a few months later. Get comfortable, this is a long story.

It was summer 2000. Scott and I were both working at Champion Duplicators, my father's manufacturing company. Champion manufactured duplication equipment for floppy diskettes and CDs. I was technical support manager and Scott was quality assurance manager. I started working there part-time in 1997 as a marketing assistant. In 1998, I agreed to be the temporary tech support manager before I left to study at Oxford University. That's the year we caught our big break at Champion. The company doubled in size. It was so exciting. I came back from England and went back to my job in marketing. In January 1999 I met Scott. I don't remember when I went back to tech support but I do remember loving every minute of it. Scott joined Champion in the spring of 2000.

By the time Scott came on, Champion had endured a rocky 9 months. Staff changes, product glitches, nothing out of the ordinary really. But things were finally starting to smooth out. It was a very exciting time. My sister was also working there by this time. She was in procurement and her boyfriend at the time hired on in IT. The four of us loved working together. My mom was in charge of HR. My uncle worked for Scott in QA. His wife worked in assembly. But everyone we worked with was like family to us. We loved our jobs. Scott and I talked a lot about how we were on the "cutting edge" of something really big. We could feel it. Manufacturing problems were smoothing out, sales were picking up, tech support was working like clockwork. Dad and the "higher ups" were working on a merger deal with one of our biggest distributors/former competitor. Things were cooking.

Then October 3 dawned. The merger was final and despite promises that no Champion employees would lose their jobs, 5 did. My mom, sister, her boyfriend, Scott and I were left on the chopping block. The bubble burst. It was one of those "hostile corporate takeovers" you read about in John Grisham novels. Turns out we were betrayed by some of our most trusted coworkers. Gosh, I'm crying as I type. That was most certainly one of the worst days of my life. I'll make a really long story short. After a LONG legal battle (6 years long), my dad sold his shares and that Champion chapter was closed.

Every day this last week, I've had that same feeling of mounting excitement that we had 9 years ago. I can't describe it other than to say it's like looking out at an awesome view from atop a mountain. It takes my breath away.

But then I catch my breath and pray, "Oh God, I don't know if I can handle the bottom falling out again." I was having one of those moments on Tuesday morning while we sat at breakfast. And that's when I hard this voice that said, "Child I have big, great things planned for you guys." Adam and I had been talking idly and I looked at him and said, "There's great things coming our way, kid." He just said "uh huh."

I heard a song on KLove later in the week that just kind of hit home. The chorus and third verse go:

There is hope for me yet
Because God won't forget
All the plans he's made for me
I have to wait and see
He's not finished with me yet

Still wondering why I'm here
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh, He's up to something
And the farther on I go
I've seen enough to know
That I'm, not here for nothing
He's up to something

I don't know what's around the corner. But I know He's up to something. For now that's enough.