Huge

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. All is well, I'm just huge. Rosebud is consuming more calories than I can give her, I'm afraid, and though she's growing the scale is going down. I guess I shouldn't complain. She's still measuring bigger than her gestational age, about 2 weeks ahead. The doctor has said twice that she will be a sizable baby, but hasn't guessed how big just yet. I have had this scientific theory since we set the c-section date that she'll be about 8 lbs 8 oz. I told my doctor this at my last appointment, and all she said was "uh huh" in a very dismissing tone. Not sure what that means. Blood pressure is good, sugars are good, no edema. By this time with Adam, I couldn't wear my wedding ring and the only shoes that fit were flip-flops. So things are going well. But other than that, I feel like I have a basketball between my legs. I'm carrying her very low and it makes it hard to walk or do anything, really! Her room is just about done and so we're ready for her to make her debut in just a few weeks. I see the doc again on June 24 and July 1 and then baby will be here.

Trust & Obey

Last week, Scott and I were presented with yet another opportunity to "trust and obey." We were at a crossroads in our business and incidentally our faith. And frankly, we were weary with frustration, confused by our choices and in general, overwhelmed. As the week wore on we sought God's leading, begging Him to give us a sign, close a door, open a window, something, anything! But, He was strangely quiet. We've been together nine years and this certainly isn't the first time we've had to make a life-altering decision. But in times past, we've walked confidently down the path we knew God was leading. Moving to North Dakota is a perfect example. We knew in the instant Scott suggested North Dakota that God was calling us here and seven months later, we walked into our new home. But this time was different. There were no sure signs, no internal leadings, no audible voice. And so, on Friday as I emptied the dishwasher, a phrase slipped into my mind: When God is Quiet. I stopped emptying the dishwasher and began writing and consequently crying (I do that a lot lately -- it's gotta be hormones). Anyhow, while I was writing, I realized we were on a walk of blind faith. And no sooner did I share this with Scott did the phone ring. In reality the person on the other end was a customer for whom Scott had quoted a job. But in my mind, it was God. The silence was broken.

That night we attended Good Friday service. I sat through the service shushing Adam every two seconds and constantly shifting in my seat to stop Rosebud from stepping on my bladder. When the closing prayer came, I won't lie, I was ready to go. But that's when the speaker quoted these lyrics from a popular BarlowGirl song:
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent

I couldn't get my pen to write fast enough. Scott just smiled at me. I've since looked up the lyrics from the song. You can read them here. And listen to the song here.

Turns out this wasn't the only blessing in store for us last week-end. Read on.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter from the prairie! We were blessed with a beautiful sunny day in the low 40s (hard to believe I'm calling that beautiful), clear skies and no snow. The snow melted a few weeks ago, but on Thursday another inch fell. I was pretty frustrated. But it melted on Friday and with any luck we'll only have rain from now until summer. Anyhow, back to Easter. After church, we had lunch at my parents and then the famous egg hunt.

At church, this morning, they had a story time for the kids 3-10 years old up on the stage. Stephanie, the children's pastor, took a piece of paper and put it in a pan of water and tried lighting it. When she couldn't, she asked the kids, "Do you know anyone who could do such an amazing and impossible thing?" Adam, who was sitting just a few inches from the microphone, said "That would be my dad." Stephanie could easily see us sitting in the third row and asked, "Scott, what do you think of that?" So after service, a lot of people greeted Scott as the "man who can do anything."

But the real Easter excitement happened this evening. At bedtime, Adam and I read a book called "Let's Celebrate Jesus on Easter." Afterwards, I asked Adam to again tell me why we celebrate Easter. He answered, "Because Jesus died and rose again." That started a discussion between the two of us about heaven. I told Adam that he could see Jesus (and Dido, GG and Buddy -- those who have died in his lifetime) in heaven one day if he told Jesus he believed in his death and resurrection (I used another word, I think) and asked Him to come live in his heart. He said, "okay." Puzzled, as this isn't the first time we've talked about this, I asked, "So do you want to pray right now? Pray with mommy about this?" He said, "Yeah." I told him to repeat after me and we prayed together. When we said Amen, I told him this meant Jesus was always with him, always there for him to talk to and ask for help and that he'd one day go to heaven with Mommy and Daddy. Then we called Daddy to come and celebrate with us.

Adam was so excited about what we'd just done together that we could hardly get him back into bed. He was dancing around the room and suddenly decided he needed to clean up his room too. (a sure sign the Holy Spirit was at work!) We'd had communion on Good Friday and Adam had asked about what we were doing. (At our church, we walk to the front to take communion) We explained to him that it was something we did to remember how Jesus died for us and that one day when he asked Jesus into his heart he too could take communion. So one of the things he was excited about tonight was being able to go up and take bread and juice with us.

I can't tell you the joy we both feel tonight! Of course, being pregnant and emotional, I've been crying tears of joy and tears of relief. And I can hear the angels rejoicing tonight!

Oops!

I can't believe I forgot to tell you this! Last week-end I found out that MomSense magazine purchased a piece I'd written and submitted last fall! It will be published in the May/June 2008 issue.

Prayer Works

What a difference a week of prayer makes. Last Monday ranks with some of the worst days of my life for reasons beyond what I told you about in my post. Tuesday wasn't much better as I had to fill in for my boss and run two sales meetings because she had the flu. I was already starting to feel Adam's cold come on, but what were my choices? The two meetings went really well, but when I came home at 8:30pm, I was exhausted and most definitely sick. I spent Wednesday through Friday in bed. Thursday night was miserable for me as I didn't get much sleep, worried about Monday's events and how they would work themselves out and if I'd ever feel better. Friday night, I went to bed with much apprehension, afraid I wouldn't sleep. As I shivered, tossed and turned, familiar words of a beloved worship song drifted into my mind:

Holding me still, holding me near in Your arms of love

So I laid there, singing those words in my mind over and over until I drifted to sleep. Praise God. But that's not the end of the story. Though I was starting to feel better this morning, we still had last Monday's problem to work out. Both Scott and I were worried and stressed. So before he got on the phone to straighten things out, we buried our heads and prayed. We prayed to our God who is bigger than the cold, bigger than laryngitis, bigger than a slow season in our business. He's even bigger than our biggest problem. Then Scott got on the phone. Not long after, Scott called to me from upstairs. I went into the foyer and looked up at my husband who was beaming from ear to ear. God had answered our prayers and taken away our problem as if it hadn't happened. As Scott said this morning, "I don't know what He did, but it was only something He could do." And he is right. God showed us, again today, that He can -- and wants to -- handle all our problems big or small, life changing or not. And so I leave you with that. What is on your shoulders weighing you down today that you need your Heavenly Father to take away from you? Have you asked?

Bad Day

Have you ever had one of those days that goes from bad to worse? Well, folks, today was that day for us. It started at 2am when Adam woke up with a cough and a fever. About an hour later the normally sedate Rosebud decided she wanted to play gymnast. The day slowly unravels from there. Finally dinner time comes. Crash in the living room. I go running to find Oscar has knocked my grandmother's fostoria glass and our antique teapots (both my grandmother's and Scott's grandmother's) off the table. Lucky for him nothing is broken. I spin around and see he has also shredded my dried wedding bouquet. I go hunting for him. He attacks me from behind and claws into my leg. I lock him up. A few minutes go by and Scott yells from bedroom. Oscar has pee'd on our mattress and freshly washed sheets. By this time, Scott is beyond mad and I can't do anything but laugh. We clean the mattress, Scott still cussing and me still laughing, and put the sheets back into the wash. We're really thinking about going back to bed until April if this is how March is going to be.

It's a girl!

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 5:30am nervous and anxious for the ultrasound. Rosebud hasn't been as active as Adam was and that concerned me. She moved a lot at 13 and 14 weeks and then by 17 weeks only moved occasionally. Scott, my friends and the doctor all tried to comfort me, but I was still nervous. And when someone pointed out that often when you're pregnant with twins, the babies won't move as much because they run out of space. Well, we know of 8 sets of twins on my mom's side of the family. The last few days before the ultrasound were pretty tense as we imagined the possibility of two babies. It hasn't helped that Adam has said from the beginning that there were "2 girls" in mommy's belly. Some people said we would have known before 19 weeks if twins were in store, but not necessarily. We hadn't had an ultrasound yet. My blood test wasn't until 11 weeks and the HCG hormone (if it's high it can mean twins) levels off and declines between weeks 8-10. And we didn't have the AFP test or any birth defect testing done and sometimes those will divulge twins. So going into this ultrasound, we both felt anything was possible.

The ultrasound was scheduled for 9am with a 10:30 doctor's appointment following. We arrived to the lab at 8:45 and thank God, we were called in early. Little Rosebud, like her brother, was difficult to photograph for the sonographer. However, unlike her brother she was calm, sleepy and mellow. She simply didn't want to move to show the sonographer her spine or all four chambers of his heart. So we have to go back on March 26 for additional pictures. The sonographer reassured us that nothing is wrong. She said she can see the spine and heart fine, but because stubborn Rosebud wouldn't move into a better position, she couldn't get the pictures and measurements she needs for the doctor. And the doctor confirmed that. So we're not worried.

After all the measurements were done, we said we wanted to know the gender so if she could see it please let us know. Now I have to admit, I took a crash course online on what boy and girl anatomy look like on an ultrasound. I knew we were looking for "lines" not...hmmm how do I say this..."tubular" shapes. So when she rolled over Rosebud and said, "here's the bottom" I held my breath. But then she pointed to the "lines" and said, "this means it's a girl." I literally shot my hands into the air and said, "hooray!" Scott beamed from ear to ear.

Based on the measurements she took, Rosebud is a little bigger than Adam was at this stage. So we could be expecting another big baby, but who knows. It's early to tell. It did look like she has long legs and arms. But that was just my own opinion, I didn't ask the sonographer what the measurements were.

Two hours later we were done with our doctor appointment and left the hospital. Both Scott and I had messages from excited friends and family dying to hear the news. The visit took longer than we thought because ultrasound forgot to send the report to the doctor, so a few of my friends were nervous thinking something was wrong. But, all was well. And most everyone we talked to were so very excited that Rosebud's a girl. :)